An excellent interview with a fellow artist/ketubah designer caused me to reflect on my own transition from a full-time creative director at a large corporation to being a full-time artist and entrepreneur.
It’s tremendously challenging to work for yourself, but that challenge is exactly what makes it worthwhile. The work I did in my corporate days was often hard, sometimes fun, but it rarely rarely challenged me the way my own little business does. Why? That corporate job never pushed me to my limits, or encouraged me rise to a new level of achievement. As hard as I worked at that job, I always felt like I was only using half of my abilities, at best. Whenever I tried to stretch and try new things, or tried to encourage my team to take on new challenges, I was shot down again and again by bosses, managers, and clients. It was a job, but never a livelihood, and never a life.
But working on my own, for all of its stress and anxiety, has always asked more of me than I ever thought I could give. Running this little business always pushes me to use every skill I have, and constantly learn new ones. It leads me into scary new places, and forces me to confront them, to rise to the challenge, and to move forward. It is never satisfied with letting me coast along at half-speed, but constantly forces me to be, entirely, 100% myself. I constantly fall, I constantly fail. I am always questioning myself and my abilities. But by god, I am growing, and learning, and living.